La la land..."photography scare"

Night of the June 23, 2010

There are only little bits and pieces that I can remember, but I know that at one point I was going to be headed over to a wedding that I was photographing. I got there and realized not all of my stuff was together. There was another photographer taking pictures of them already when I got there, but I just kinda scooted my way in there. I knew that my settings were off, but I didn’t want to waste any time so I didn’t care. The ceremony was about to start and I didn’t have my flash hooked up or anything. I felt very flustered and frustrated with myself for not having it all together (I think this is because I had a bride in real life that was saying I didn’t have a flash even though I did and had been using with her for the past hour). I then ran up to where I needed to be and began to take the pictures. I felt fine finally. I saw my dad in the crowd and he tried to hand me a memory card even though I already had one. I turned to the person next to me and started bragging to them about how my dad was in a rock band. Then I woke up. That’s about all I can remember.

Like I said, I think part of this dream had to do with this one real life bride that talked about me like I was inadequate when I really actually did feel all together. Her pictures turned out great. She had told the coordinator that I didn’t have a flash and I didn’t even have a website. It really frustrated me. Although another part of me just thinks that the dream was playing out what I fear most about weddings. I never fear being able to take good pictures, I fear not having all of my equipment together or for something to malfunction. I don’t exactly know what the part about my dad and the memory card was all about, but I do know that I do brag about him to people about him being in a rock band so that I’m not surprised!

I hoping that from now on, when I have these dreams, I can write them down on a hand written journal right away and transfer it later. Well that’s it for now!

Scripture Journal

June 23, 2010
2nd Nephi Chapter 18- Chapter 33 (completing 2nd Nephi)

Today I read 30 pages from the Book of Mormon. My heart is so full of understanding right now. It blows my mind that I have waited this long to receive the fullest of what I have been taught since birth. I was overwhelmed with confusion once more when beginning to read today. I could hardly understand one word. I felt like giving up within 3 minutes. I even got up and took a break. I was pulled back to the book many times though. At one point I even lifted up my head and laugh as I said…”really? Is this supposed to be this hard to understand? Please help me understand so I have a desire to continue!” I was inspired to carry on reading and I would be given guidance.

The next chapter began and I continued reading. 2nd Nephi 21:2-3. “And the Spirit of the Lord shall rest upon him, the spirit of wisdom and understanding, the spirit of council and might, the spirit of knowledge and of the fear of the Lord; And shall make him quick of understanding in the fear of the Lord; and shall not judge after the sight of his eyes neither after the hearing of his ears.” That was enough to keep me going for a while longer J

Nephi speaks with such plainness (as he says). He is so calm and collected with his words. Every word he speaks has such strength yet can sooth you at the same time. Again I say that so much of this has to do with what is going on in the present day. A couple more that stood out to me. 2nd Nephi 28. Saying that the day will come that people will say that God’s work is done and has given the power to men. They will deny the Power of the Holy Ghost. People will begin to say that they have received enough of God’s teachings and that they need no more. Just as I can never know enough about photography…I am always learning new things according to the changing of times, we can also never learn enough about the teachings of our Heavenly Father.

I love the end of 2nd Nephi. I was balling my eyes out for the last 3 pages. He says in Chapter 33:10 “…hearken unto these words and believe in Christ, and if ye believe not in these words, believe in Christ. And if ye shall believe in Christ, ye shall believe in these words, for they are the words of Christ, and he hath given them unto me; and they teach all men that they should do good.“

I can’t wait to start reading again!


June 22, 2010
2nd Nephi Chapter 9- 2nd Nephi Chapter 17
Today I read 16 pages from the Book of Mormon! These chapters had a lot to do with explaining what was to happen to the wicked and proud. Nephi and Jacob talk a lot about those who think they are wise and learned. One scripture that stood out to me was 2nd Nephi 9:28-29. It’s amazing how much this pertains to the latter days. The scripture says “O that cunning plan of the evil one! O the vainness and the frailties and the foolishness of men! When they are learned they think they are wise and they hearken not unto the counsels of God, for they set it aside, supposing they know of themselves, wherefore, their wisdom is foolishness and it profiteth them not and they shall parish.” “But to be learned is good if they hearken until the counsels of God”. Just as my last scripture journal talks about not putting our trust in flesh of men, this talks about not putting trust into ourselves alone. Being vain, being a “no-it-all” will not get us to where we need to be. We are constantly in a place of learning. We do not have all the answers yet.

I think Heavenly Father tries to teach me this lesson often. I forget that the best teachers are those who lead by example. I want to be more like that. I want people to learn from me even if nothing comes out of my mouth. It’s hard not to get caught up in what I am learning and how I am growing, and get frustrated when others are not trying to learn too. Heavenly Father always brings me back to the same answer when I pray…lead by example if you want to make a difference.


June 21, 2010
1st Nephi Chapter 20- 2nd Nephi Chapter 8
I am very proud of myself today because I read 26 pages of the Book of Mormon. I made a decision recently that I would read as much as possible, but at least 12 pages a day so that I could finish by my birthday July 30th. I was already a little bit into it so this is where I am starting from.

It started off a little shaky. I had a hard time following, but I prayed that I would be able to understand the words I was reading. Interestingly enough…the next chapter was Nephi giving a summary of the previous chapter. I love when that happens!

A few scriptures in particular really stood out to me. 2nd Nephi 3:24 & 2nd Nephi 4:17-35. Nephi was a man with thoughts just like ours. He had temptation just as we do. But he says how God is our support and He leads us through our afflictions. He explains that we can NOT put our trust in flesh (meaning any man or ourselves alone). We must put all of our trust in Him and ask Him and no one else when we are looking for answers.

At church yesterday, one of the councilors of our stake presidency told a story of a man that met President Hinkley. This man was asking President Hinkley some questions about the gospel and scriptures and this was the Prophets response: “If you will forgive me for not answering your question, I will forgive you for asking.” Our Prophet knows that God wants us to think for ourselves and ask Him when we need help. We can be given direction, but it is only in honest prayer that we will find the truth of that direction we have been given.

I am hoping to do a scripture journal daily. Most likely not this long since I kinda had to preface it, but I am looking forward to doing this. Thanks for reading!

The Book of Ely (Movie)...

My heart is filled with inspiration and faith after watching a movie called The Book of Ely. There was violence and bad language, but the story was so amazing. I had chills from head to toe during the entire movie. My eyes were filled with tears of understanding and my heart was filled with the passion of knowing that we hold such a sacred and true book.

It is a privilege to have the scriptures and to know what we know. There are many that don’t have the chance to read these words. Others have been willing to sacrifice their own life so that we could carry it forth. I have the scriptures in front of me. I know how to read. No one has ever stopped me from reading it. I have always had the free will to take from it all of the knowledge that He has given to me. Yet I let so many chances slip away.

I prayed before posting this, because I know that this movie is rated R. I know that many will not choose to watch it and that is perfectly fine. But please take what I learned from it. Would you remember enough of the teachings and stories of the scriptures if it were taken off the earth? Would you be able to hold it in your heart so close that you could convey the message fully to others? At this point in time, I could not. But...it is never too late to start (again). I am still on this earth and there is so much I still don’t know. I believe that I was put here for a purpose much greater than I can even comprehend. Each day I am ready to be an instrument in His hands.

Bring it on...

Accountability

I am so darn sleepy, but I am determined to keep up with this so here we go…
My day mostly consists of editing, indulging in my facebook addiction, playing with Jordan and cleaning. Today I took some time to sit down and watch some more of a new favorite show of mine called Arrested Development. It’s pretty funny and it has really drawn me in. It was nice to kick back a bit. Most nights end with me and Andrew cuddled up watching south park or something, but hardly ever during the day
My eating habits have been insane. I really have been eating crappy and I feel it big time. My body hurts and I am way more tired. I am making an announcement to the world that I am going to HALFWAY go on my healthy diet again. Im not going to be as crazy as last time, but I seriously need to rid my body of whatever is making me feel this way. Obeying the Word of Wisdom is more important than we know. And not just in the alcohol, drugs and caffeine sense. I know from first hand that eating crappy can become an addiction. Your body begins to crave sugar and carbs when you eat a lot of it. It is a cycle that can only be broken by cutting a bunch out of your diet until you don’t need it anymore.
In the early evening, Jordan, Andrew and I went to my brother in law David’s to eat dinner and watch the Lakers game! GO LAKERS! They won…woot woot! Then I took off down to Fremont St. down town to help my friend Suzi (TSL Photography) with an engagement shoot. It’s always fun hangin out with her and some clients. I learned of a lot of cool picture places.
Got home, watched some south park with Andrew and our cousin Adrian who just came in to town, then watched a couple episodes of Arrested Development. It has been another great day. I hope to accomplish more tomorrow!
Xoxo

Day of Learning and Success!

My eyes are heavy. My body is weak. Yet I know when I lay down, slumber will stand firm and strong as my sworn enemy. Falling asleep has never come easy to me. As I am exploring all of the intricate curves, twist and crevasses of my brain, I seem to come across lectures, reviewing what I have learned that day, what went on yesterday, and what I want to go on tomorrow and so on. These internal conversations draw me in like a moth to a flame and as I think of wanting to fall asleep more, the further I am from actually falling asleep. It’s a vicious cycle. Luckily, staying asleep is usually a piece of cake…once I get to that point. Sometime, Advil PM is my friend. And this friend never lets me down.

Ok…that’s enough complaining for now. Today was overall another really good day. Minus the fact that I ate leftover spaghetti for breakfast, 2 corn dogs for lunch and 3 slices of pizza for dinner. Not a very nutritious day for me, but I still got a lot done. I got my house cleaned before 10. Which was pretty good considering I blogged until 1am and Jordan woke up at 6…blah! Then my sister in law Lucy came over for some pictures. Those turned out freaking awesome! I worked on some more pictures. I went to Costco. I got a learning DVD for my external flash in the mail and watched it later…not very impressive unfortunately. Got Jordan to bed…didn’t climb out of his crib once!

I then took some time to learn a couple things on my own about my camera. I love taking something by the wheel and just working it myself. I think that it is AWESOME to at least read manuals and figure out what buttons mean, but for the most part, it’s all about taking your camera out and taking a thousand pictures and taking note of different settings you used. That has really worked for me and it continues to help me improve my images. In the picture above, Jordan was so kindly helping me learn some more about my camera :-)

Then suddenly I hear sounds of distress. Poor Andrew realized that he hurt his leg pretty working out so I made an emergency run to the store for some Bengay. I hope he gets better quickly. I lathered myself up pretty good too. A part of me thinks that the only thing Bengay does is distract you from the pain by giving you that weird sensation of freezing.
Anyway, that’s 2 days in a row that I’ve blogged and wrote a journal entry! Yay for me! Peace out!

xoxo

The day of much productivity!

Today has been a great day. I woke up around 7:30 with the baby and Andrew. I immediately started laundry…hasn’t been done in a while (like a week). I made myself a note of everything I wanted to get done before turning on the computer and I achieved it! I even added a couple of things on and got those things done too. I called this guy James from tourguy.com. He will not return my phone call…boooooooo! Hopefully he will call back someday soon. I finished getting my book The Ducks from the Block together and I sent everything to the publisher! Woo-hoo!! I’ll be talking more about that in the future for sure!

My visiting teachers Lori Jayme and Amber Cooper came over to see me around 2. We talked and they gave a quick lesson on sacrament and why it is so important to really remember why we are taking it each week and to not just take it without thinking. We also talked about making our ward [ES2] a little more united. Planning dinners, game nights, girl’s nights, etc. We decided that we are going to try to start a ward blog. A blog that we could update and keep events posted on a calendar. I think that would really help everyone come together. We’ll see how it goes.

I worked on pictures. I finished 4 loads of laundry. I played with my little cutie Jordan. I talked to Tony and AJ on the phone (they are in California with Grandma) and I freaking miss them. I sold our old mattress, box spring and frame on craigslist for $20! I was planning on dumping it or donating it so $20 was awesome! I made yummy chicken parmesan with spaghetti and bell peppers. I dyed my hair again. My blonde roots were coming in WAY too much…I needed to tame that. While my hair was cooking, I vented Andrews ear off about a bridezilla that I had recently and he expressed that he wanted to doo-doo on her pictures and mail them to her. I thought that was rather funny. I will try not to let him get a hold of her address.

Jordan climbed out of his crib 4 or 5 times, but finally gave up. So, after a long productive day, Andrew and I snuggled up on the couch with a big bowl of ice cream and watched a movie called “Taken”. It started off kinda slow, but once it got going, we were on the edge of our seats….or the couch. It was PG13 and pretty clean. I would highly recommend it!

Now I’m sitting down and writing a little journal entry. I will keep this one going daily. I will be getting off the computer and making a list of “to-do’s” for tomorrow cause it sure worked out for me today!

xoxo

A New Beginning!

So as you can see....the last posting I did was back in May....OF 2009! But tonight I came from a friends house who gave me inspiration and motivation to get going again! Thanks Keshia! This time its gonna be about blogging. Not all about pictures. You can see my pics on my website, photo blog or facebook. Here...you will learn about me and what is going on in my life. Now I'm not gonna tell you my life story, maybe I'll go into detail another time, but I'm gonna start from scratch with what has been happening lately.

My 2 oldest boys went on their very first plane ride yesterday by themselves to California. My stomach was in knots and I probably had high blood pressure, but I made it...and so did they. They had the time of their lives and are so excited to be spending time with family on the coast.

I am super tired right now...I just wanted to get the ball rolling. I will write more about some exciting stuff going on in our lives right now tomorrow.

Pray often, give thanks, don't be afraid to ask & smile for at least a minute when your day's not going good...that will make it better :-)

xoxo